Tuesday, August 14, 2007

10 Things I Learned From Playing Pitfall

Since today is 80s nostalgia day (it's not really I just made that up)
I thought I'd share some poignant things I learned from one of my favorite Atari games.

Ten Life Lessons I Learned from Playing Pitfall

1. Appearances can be deceiving:
What looks like simply a shallow puddle of water could be a bottomless abyss that will suck you into its depths.

2. Be patient.
At some point the alligator whose head you are standing on will close its mouth so you can jump to safety.

3. There's always hope:
Even if you fall through a hole into the world's basement (never mind for now that a forest/desert shouldn't have a basement) you can always just climb back up the next ladder you happen upon.

4. Tackling problems head on won't kill you:
The huge logs of life will barrel towards you (always from the right). They will temporarily cripple you and may make a horrible farting noise, but they will not kill you. You my friend, are a survivor.

5. This too shall pass:
The other side of any hardship is only a hop, skip and a jump (or a swinging vine) away.

6. Never let your guard down:
Even if an area seems safe, an entire lake can materialize out of nowhere and swallow you whole.

7. If you see a giant scorpion or rattlesnake, run the other way:
That means exactly what it says.

8. There is such a thing as a second chance:
Life is just one big loop that will keep going around and around and around. The same obstacles you conquered before are waiting for you to come running through them again. Hopefully you'll have already learned your lesson about being patient on the alligator heads.

9. Take things one screen a time:
Don't try to just dash through from one obstacle to the next, you don't know what lies ahead and could run headfirst into a giant rattlesnake (see lesson 7)

10. You'll bounce back:
Even if you drown, fall into quicksand, get stung by a rattle snake and a scorpion, are beat over the head with rolling logs and fall into the mouth of an alligator, you will bounce back with a happy boink and keep searching for treasure (which ironically will not end up being worth all the trouble).

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