Wednesday, November 7, 2007

30 Random Facts for 30 Random Years

Since today is my 30th birthday, here are 30 random (and sometimes innapropriate) facts about me...(actually 31, one to grow on as grandma always said)

1. My closet is organized by color
2. Before my wedding I had a two-page list of things to do that made my mother-in-law shriek in anxiety—but made me feel more relaxed.
3. I usually skim the end of a chapter or book to see how things end up because I'm impatient and can't take suspense.
4. There are movies I didn't care for in the theater that I will watch again and again on TBS—like The Wedding Planner.
5. Public speaking doesn't scare me, I'm quite good at it.
6. In fifth grade I started my period while learning how to divide fractions.
7. I peed my pants in public---at the age of sixteen.
8. I once weighed over two hundred pounds
9. In my catholic grade school, I used to invent sins to tell the priest in confession.
10. I am the oldest of four children, I have two brothers and one sister.
11. When I was five I got my arm stuck up an elephant's trunk.
12. I used to fake sick so I could stay home from school and read Nancy Drew books.
13. I can't stand being late.
14. I still sometimes check my closet and under my bed before going to sleep at night.
15. My wedding dress cost $84.73
16. I once lived in France with a family who didn't speak English.
17. My favorite part of Christmas is wrapping presents.
18. I like baking and gardening (but I'm not very good at either).
19. I still have CDs and books that I borrowed from people in middle school (such as Patty Drechsel's Whitney Houston CD).
20. I have a mild fear of lakes and oceans.
21. I love going to thrift stores, garage sales and flea markets.
22. My first pet was a poodle/spaniel mix named Gin Gin.
23. When I was 13, my brand new, blue, ten-speed bike got stolen (I'm pretty sure Danielle Delisio is the culprit).
24. Daydreaming is my favorite pastime.
25. I started watching MTV at the age of six.
26. In sixth grade someone started an "eraser burn" fad, I still have the scar on the back of my hand where Jenny Patronik convinced me to rub off my skin with a number two pencil eraser.
27. I often have nightmares that it's my wedding day but I don't have shoes and/or a hair stylist. 28. At one point in my life I was "too radioactive to be in the general population."
29. I don't like commercials where funguses and mucus have personalities and wear clothes.
30. I lost my virginity when I was 16.
31. All my life I have been disgusted by doggie kisses….until I got a dog.

Below is a picture of my mom taken just 2 months before I made my worldwide debut (Note the "Baby" t-shirt). What is she doing you ask? She's preparing to skydive. Lucky for yours truly, when she saw the unnatural sight of others falling from the aircraft she decided against it. Thanks Mom!

1 comment:

James Ford said...

1. My closet is organized by color.
a. My movies and CDs are kept in alphabetical order (with sequels, series' and remakes kept together. I also have a catalog for my movies that keeps track of what I have and what I have loaned out. I have OCD and if left in a room too long I will alphabetize anything for efficiency. I once alphabetized all my friends books only too find she had her own system. They were in order of the ones she liked the most, then by size and thickness. The government lets her raise children.
2. Before my wedding I had a two-page list of things to do that made my mother-in-law shriek in anxiety—but made me feel more relaxed.
a. I hate weddings and I hate funerals but ironically love writing them because they are the most visual events normal people participate in.
3. I usually skim the end of a chapter or book to see how things end up because I'm impatient and can't take suspense.
a. I don't read books. My OCD prevents me from abandoning ones I don't like so then I spend two weeks of my free time on a book I hate. I could have watched fifteen movies in that time.
4. There are movies I didn't care for in the theater that I will watch again and again on TBS—like The Wedding Planner.
a. I almost never change my mind on movies. I'll defend movies and a year later people who argued with me will call me and tell me, "they've been running HULK on HBO all month and this is the sixth time I have seen it and you're right, it's not as bad as I thought it was." I had a friend call me ten years after FORREST GUMP came out and told me I was right, PULP FICTION was the better movie and should have won best picture. He felt GUMP just manipulated him for ten years like a shitty girlfriend. I pride myself in that.
5. Public speaking doesn't scare me, I'm quite good at it.
a. Me too. I used to give crowd control instructions when I worked at Universal Studios. I don't like having my picture taken. I actually get pretty pissed. I am working that out.
6. In fifth grade I started my period while learning how to divide fractions.
a. When I was a kid my brother and I would share a bathroom and I would get erections and he would make fun of me because my father didn't explain it to either or us and neither us knew what was happening. Suddenly my father seems like Piper Laurie in CARRIE.
7. I peed my pants in public---at the age of sixteen.
a. I fart when I laugh a lot. I try not to laugh a lot. It doesn't work.
8. I once weighed over two hundred pounds.
a. I still weigh over two hundred pounds. I am working on that, too. Note to self #1: thinking about it doesn't help.
9. In my catholic grade school, I used to invent sins to tell the priest in confession.
a. I am fascinated by religion but refuse to participate. I find people who quasi-practice a religion or wear its symbols without practicing are hypocrites. To them it's like wearing Gator stuff and not knowing a player on the team. You're just affiliating yourself with something. I worked with a girl who was seven months pregnant and couldn't eat pizza during lent because it had meat on it. I found it ironic that she was pregnant with her second illegitimate child and someone she thought pepperoni was going to be her problem getting into Heaven.
10. I am the oldest of four children, I have two brothers and one sister.
a. I have one younger brother, two half-siblings I have never met that are old enough to be my parents. I also have severe abandonment issues with my own parents.
11. When I was five I got my arm stuck up an elephant's trunk.
a. In second grade I got to the top of a jungle gym and paralyzed with fear, couldn't get down. I just cried. A teacher that reminded me of Tammy Faye Baker had to get me off. This is when I discovered I am afraid of heights. In my defense, I am five six.
12. I used to fake sick so I could stay home from school and read Nancy Drew books.
a. I used to not eat lunch so I could have extra money to buy comic books.
13. I can't stand being late.
a. I am never late. I once had a girlfriend who was always late. I called the movie theatre where I worked, told the projectionist we were running late and he held RAIN MAN for ten minutes until he saw me walk in. I hate missing previews.
14. I still sometimes check my closet and under my bed before going to sleep at night.
a. I always do this. I have this fear of opening a door and finding something on the ground eating something else in a bloody mess. I am also afraid of zombies and whenever I am on a desolated street at night I think about zombies. Also, every time I walk into a parking lot I wish I could fly. I hate driving.
15. My wedding dress cost $84.73.
a. Talk to Natalie on this one. She needs to know where you shop.
16. I once lived in France with a family who didn't speak English.
a. I got nothing here.
17. My favorite part of Christmas is wrapping presents.
a. I used to wrap presents when I worked at Sears and I am AWESOME at it.
18. I like baking and gardening (but I'm not very good at either).
a. I like singing and I suck. Bad.
19. I still have CDs and books that I borrowed from people in middle school (such as Patty Drechsel's Whitney Houston CD).
a. I have Jessica Berardo's yearbook. I needed names for a screenplay I wrote called CADELL RULES and I wanted people we went to high school with. Since I didn't remember their names because they are mostly events I blocked out of my memory, I borrowed her yearbook... seven years ago. If you were wondering, I don't own my own. Hated high school. I am not in the yearbook. Reference Number 5.
20. I have a mild fear of lakes and oceans.
a. I don't like any animal I can't pick up and drop kick across a room. I don't trust them.
21. I love going to thrift stores, garage sales and flea markets.
a. Flea Markets are good for funnel cake. I hate the smell of thrift stores and owning stuff people I don't know had. Ironically, I love eBay and it's the world's largest garage sale (but I won't buy anything there made with fabric).
22. My first pet was a poodle/spaniel mix named Gin Gin.
a. My father once bought is chickens and built a coop in our backyard. In the suburbs. I am sure there are zoning laws he violated and now as an adult, I don't think he saw what was wrong with one of three black families in the city owning chickens.
23. When I was 13, my brand new, blue, ten-speed bike got stolen (I'm pretty sure Danielle Delisio is the culprit).
a. My father once gave my bike away to punish my brother. He never apologized for it. That's how he rolled.
24. Daydreaming is my favorite pastime.
a. I hate sleeping. I will actually go to sleep and set my alarm clock to wake me at 1:00a so I can do stuff (clean the kitchen, laundry, watch Tivo, vacuum my car).
25. I started watching MTV at the age of six.
a. I stopped watching MTV and listening to music in 1992 after Pearl Jam's TEN. It was the last good thing I remember seeing. Everything became crap shortly thereafter and I officially got old. I once watched an MTV Music Awards and noticed everyone of the stage was younger than me and realized this isn't for me anymore. Enjoy your rubber bracelets, Avril.
26. In sixth grade someone started an "eraser burn" fad, I still have the scar on the back of my hand where Jenny Patronik convinced me to rub off my skin with a number two pencil eraser.
a. I had bad skin when I was fifteen and took a dry cloth and rubbed the skin on my face so bad peeled a lot of it off (thinking there would be unblemished skin underneath). Note to self #2: what looks like a vicious rug burn on your face is much more noticeable than acne.
27. I often have nightmares that it's my wedding day but I don't have shoes and/or a hair stylist.
a. I only have nightmare about zombies. I don't remember my dreams (maybe a fraction of one every two months) and when I do, it's about zombies.
28. At one point in my life I was "too radioactive to be in the general population."
a. I would love to tell people that. In my mind, I am thinking I would be like Bruce Banner or Nathaniel Adam. I am sure for you it had more to do with chemotherapy. Note to self #3: getting bitten by a radioactive spider will probably not give you superhuman powers but instead kill you... slowly.
29. I don't like commercials where funguses and mucus have personalities and wear clothes.
a. Fungi (plural, like Peni, of course I usually don't have a need to refer to Penis in the plural). I hate movie trailers that show me the a) monster, b) super-special effect or c) ending. I also hate Big Head posters. This is when movie posters are advertised not with art that tells me what this movie may be about, but with Nicolas Cage's giant fucking dome. I miss Drew Struzan. He's a God.
30. I lost my virginity when I was 16.
a. I remember she and I were at the drive-in. She was fifteen and things started getting hot and heavy and we couldn't control ourselves and it just happened. I was beautiful. I still remember the movie. Ratatouille.
31. All my life I have been disgusted by doggie kisses….until I got a dog.
a. Note to self #4. Under no circumstances does Stephanie get mouth-to-mouth resuscitation.

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