Friday, August 27, 2010

Old MacDonald Had a Drunk Neighbor

So we've been at this gig for almost four months now, and we continue to learn the ins and outs of the little creature we call Andre. We've learned that he likes to climb, laughs at low brow humor, and likes tofu more than hamburger. But one of the most important things we learned is that Andre likes singing. We've yet to encounter a fit of fussies that a round of "Bingo was his name-O" wouldn't cure.

The problem is, the repertoire of songs is short and Danny and I already find ourselves wishing night would fall after four times through "You are my sunshine." (Ever looked up the full lyrics to that song? Seriously, it's like a creepy dude's suicide note.)

While Andre would never get bored with the cow/duck/pig rotation on Old Macdonald's Farm, Danny and I find that we need something a little more than a Moo Moo here and a Moo Moo there. We decided the farm could use some more interesting goings on, so we spruced things up a little.

Here are some things we think may be found lying around Old MacDonald's farm:

Old MacDonald Had a Farm E-I-E-I-O... And on that farm he had a. . .

Drunk Neighbor
Bitch in heat
Mysterious Radioactive substance
An antique gramophone
Studio for making pornographic films
Dental student performing his first extraction
Scooby Doo Gang
Screaming scull
Expert on Scottish Highland history
Hideous mutant
Smaller farm
Frat party
Crack Dealer

Feel free to make up your own. The possibilities are endless. (Old Macdonald has a really, really big farm since he got taken over by ConAgra). Most of the fun lies in coming up with the corresponding sounds. All in all, it makes song time fun for the whole family. At least until he's old enough to realize that no one else's MacDonald has leather whip collection.


Laura said...

Wow, our farm had accumulated a monkey, a dolphin, and a misquito. . .but your farm sounds wayyyy more interesting! Ahhh, mommyhood!!! :)

Kornopolous said...


Auntie Cara said...

awesome, can't wait to come to the farm. i will bring songs, i used to be a camp counselor and know a great one about the titanic. its a little morbid but if old macdonald can have a crack dealer andre can hear how "it was sad when that great ship went down..."

Kornopolous said...

Ever try singing NiN to him?

shonta said...

Steph this blog post makes me cry in the most awesome way. As you know Scotts dad passed away last year. William and grandpa used to hit the greens every time they would spend the weekend down at nana and papas. Its funny the things you take with you over time. I hope William never forgets. On the lighter side Scott loves to golf but I on the other hand play the first 9 holes and get pissed and then become chauffeur DRINK in hand and bring a good book. Nothing like gettin a good buzz on the green ;)